donald trump
"You don’t argue with a toddler if you want to win; don’t amplify the toddler’s voice, because you’ll just get trapped in the toddler’s world. Rather, just keep asking the toddler to elaborate, because logic is the downfall of every toddler." –Trevor Noah on handling Donald Trump
"Donald Trump still hasn't released his tax returns, 12 women have accused him of sexual assault, and he's going on trial for fraud for Trump University in November, but now the only thing the media's talking about is emails.
"Donald Trump still hasn't released his tax returns, 12 women have accused him of sexual assault, and he's going on trial for fraud for Trump University in November, but now the only thing the media's talking about is emails.
It's like if during the O.J. trial everyone was focused on whether or not the Ford Bronco had up-to-date registration." –Seth Meyers
"But, you know, Trump voters—really? Not even the guy who says he wants to f*ck his daughter? This is not a deal-breaker for you? I mean, what does it take? A racist, a liar, a tax cheat, a draft-dodger, a deadbeat, a Russian agent, and a rapist. You know we’re a nuclear power, right? These are red flags." –Bill Maher
"As you know, Trump is being accused of sexual misconduct by a slew of women. Of course, that is a case of 'he said' and 'she said, she said, she said, she said, she said.'" –Jimmy Kimmel
"Is it possible that we've all been groped by Donald J. Trump, but just didn't feel it because his tiny baby hands?" –Stephen Colbert
"Trump said that he wants to 'give back to the country' he loves. Then people were like, 'There's always that OTHER way to give back to your country — Pay your taxes!'" –Jimmy Fallon
"But, you know, Trump voters—really? Not even the guy who says he wants to f*ck his daughter? This is not a deal-breaker for you? I mean, what does it take? A racist, a liar, a tax cheat, a draft-dodger, a deadbeat, a Russian agent, and a rapist. You know we’re a nuclear power, right? These are red flags." –Bill Maher
"As you know, Trump is being accused of sexual misconduct by a slew of women. Of course, that is a case of 'he said' and 'she said, she said, she said, she said, she said.'" –Jimmy Kimmel
"Is it possible that we've all been groped by Donald J. Trump, but just didn't feel it because his tiny baby hands?" –Stephen Colbert
"Trump said that he wants to 'give back to the country' he loves. Then people were like, 'There's always that OTHER way to give back to your country — Pay your taxes!'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Donald Trump spoke at a campaign event in Florida today where he once again said Hillary Clinton should be locked up. Well, Donald, if it’s any consolation, it looks like the election is locked up." –Seth Meyers
"During a rally in Florida yesterday Donald Trump boasted about his plans for ISIS and said he will “be their worst nightmare.” Oh, wow, so he’s also running for president of ISIS?" –Seth Meyers
"Oh, Donald Trump, the media is not 'rigged' against you.
"Oh, Donald Trump, the media is not 'rigged' against you.
They're just recording what you say and playing it back. If anything, you’re rigging your own campaign." –Trevor Noah
"Trump's campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, said this morning that Republicans should decide whether or not they support Donald Trump and 'stop pussyfooting around.' That's the worst choice of words since Abraham Lincoln said, 'I need slavery like I need a hole in the head.'" –Seth Meyers
"Trump denied the (groping) allegations, calling them 'ludicrous' at a rally today. But here's the problem for Trump: There's very good reason to believe he did what he's accused of. Why? Because an irrefutable, inside source told us so: Donald Trump. Donald Trump is his own Deep Throat. He's Creep Throat." –Seth Meyers
"NBC suspended Billy Bush for his words on the Trump tape, which means there is currently a higher standard for host for third hour of the Today Show than there is for the Republican nominee for president." –Seth Meyers
"Trump's campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, said this morning that Republicans should decide whether or not they support Donald Trump and 'stop pussyfooting around.' That's the worst choice of words since Abraham Lincoln said, 'I need slavery like I need a hole in the head.'" –Seth Meyers
"Trump denied the (groping) allegations, calling them 'ludicrous' at a rally today. But here's the problem for Trump: There's very good reason to believe he did what he's accused of. Why? Because an irrefutable, inside source told us so: Donald Trump. Donald Trump is his own Deep Throat. He's Creep Throat." –Seth Meyers
"NBC suspended Billy Bush for his words on the Trump tape, which means there is currently a higher standard for host for third hour of the Today Show than there is for the Republican nominee for president." –Seth Meyers
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